You may have slept in late this morning, but did you stop to wonder why? What is this whole Independence Day celebration about? Sure, throwing out "1776" and "Constitution" and "former British colony" may win you some points at a cocktail party, but what is America (and specifically the United States) all about? Here are our selections for a quick brush up on the roots of the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Nothing says 4th of July like barbeques, parades, and, of course, fireworks! LA has a plethora of options and so many are free! Consider this your cheat sheet on where to celebrate your love for the red, white, and blue.

Since the dawn of mankind, the befuddled people of the world commonly equate Cinco de Mayo with Mexico's Independence Day. Sorry, people of the world, Cinco de Mayo is virtually ignored in Mexico. Fortunately, around 50% of the Los Angeles population comes from Hispanic or Latino descent, which leads to a vibrant Latino culture and plenty of interested Americans. We take it upon our shoulders to ensure that poor Cinco de Mayo doesn't feel neglected. And boy do we step up to the plate...

Chances are that anyone affiliating as a Jew will be eating Matzah tonight at a special Passover dinner called a seder. Matzah is known in Hebrew as "poor man's bread", a concept you and your ramen predilection know well. Passover celebrates the Jews' release from slavery in Egypt, and escape from oppression in general. If you're still kicking after going through some hard times, this is the holiday for you. If you've got a job, make sure to prep yourself so that if anyone asks why you're leaving work so early you can turn and say "I have to get to my seder. Thanks." Even if you don't need the excuse, now you can pretend to be in the know.

St. Patrick's Day has truly become an American holiday, with revelers from every race and background indulging in the festivities by wearing green and getting traditionally wasted. These Irish sure know how to plan a holiday. Drinking can get expensive, so here's how to keep costs down and still have a good time this St. Paddy's.

The Year of the Tiger began on Sunday with the Chinese New Year. (Did you make it to the Tet Festival in Garden Grove over the weekend?) The lunar New Year is the biggest of the traditional Chinese holidays, lasting 15 days, culminating with the Lantern Festival, this year on March 6. Keeping with tradition, it's time to clean your house or apartment, get some new clothes, and make plans to hang out with the family. Get ready for good food and buy gifts for friends. If you're lucky, you may even get a red envelope with a bunch of cash to blow in the new year. LA's got a whole slew of festivities worth checking out. Here's a rundown.

Most Americans probably haven't heard of Purim, with the exception of those who saw Christopher Guest's has-its-moments-but-is-otherwise-forgettable For Your Consideration. This year falling on Saturday night and Sunday, Purim is the Jewish holiday celebrating the Jews' escape from destruction at the hands of the evil Haman in the ancient Persian Empire. As an American, and moreover as an Angelino, there's really no reason that you too can't celebrate this holiday even if you're not a Member of the Tribe. Because when was the last time you didn't party on Cinco de Mayo/St. Paddy's Day/Oktoberfest/what-have-you?

Although many of us harbor bitterness toward the big 'ol V-Day, there are a few broke romantics still out there. Forgive the bad poetry, but it’s got to be done:

Chocolate and flowers,
cards and gifts,
use your RFB powers,
to make little shifts,
that’ll keep your lovers,
diving under the covers.

Like any good slasher film, so goes my love life: never is there a happy ending. Personally, I'm all about screaming "Die Cupid Die!" on the all too celebrated Valentine’s Day. So much so that I throw dinner parties with the same theme, and once even convinced a popular musician to paint the same phrase all over her shirt for a gig. Apparently, the crowd loved it. So with that in mind, get out your puffy paints and aprons as I present to you Little Brown Bag's version of DIE CUPID DIE! Yes, it's cheap. Just like those bastards you're going to invite.

It's New Year's again and everyone is in a tizzy making big night out plans. You might not like to hear it, but New Year's is amateur night. People drop crazy amounts of cash to party with lightweights who don't know their limits. Drunk drivers abound, everything costs double, and who wants to kiss the weirdo stranger? I'm not bitter, just stating the obvious. Here are some suggestions for a more low-key celebration.